SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
WATCH 43 DRIVERS AND THEIR CARS ATTEMPT TO BE HOMICIDAL, SUICIDAL, AND GENOCIDAL!
DESPERATION TIME IS SETTING IN FOR SOME UNRULY DRIVERS!
CAN THE PACK STAY ON TRACK?
WILL THE ROYAL RUMBLE COME IN OCTOBER?
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
Now that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the Brawl for All that’s been Charlotte shall we?
If my memory serves me correctly, Matt Kenseth got knocked into the wall first, courtesy of Bad Brad and the Blue Deuce. Too aggressive on the restart? Perhaps.
But then you had Denny Hamlin who forced Brad to lose momentum multiple times on the last restart. In those instances, Brad lost 10 spots, which in turn is the same as 10 points in the standings. With elimination looming large this could not be afforded.
After the checkers fell, it wasn’t time for the wreckers to end yet. Oh yippee, I love it when that happens!
Brad took a hilariously bad shot at Denny on-track, and nearly hit the wall in doing so. Not as disastrous as Danica, but still a laughable effort.
Kenseth and Keselowski then had some words going into the pits. All and all is good until Brad hits Tony Stewart.
You NEVER piss that dude off!
So Tony backed his Bass (Pro Shops car) up and crunched Brad’s nose.
Pretty soon enough, Brad’s nose on his own hide would be on the line!
Keselowski burned some rubber in Hamlin’s garage stall, WITH PEOPLE CASUALLY WALKING ABOUT. Hamlin was then held back by Jason Ratcliff from trying to punch Brad’s mare-like facial features.
But this doesn’t stop Matt Kenseth!
Kenseth, a man whose emotional features range from boring to inoffensively bland, jumped Brad in-between haulers!
That’s right, mild-mannered Matty had enough of this shit. Like Ralphie Parker from A Christmas Story, it was time to whoop some candy ass!
In the meantime, random pit guys punched each other resembling more of an asphalt version of 300!
With any fisticuffs in NASCAR, there are penalties to be brought down. I mean forced donations to the Victory Gang Junction Camp.
Only these penalties smell of pure crap.
Brad and Tony were fined. I understand both men violated some protocol that was bred from the anus of the Senior Brian France. NASCAR had been saying stuff in the pits post-race is a no-no. Apparently burnt rubber on the track is fine but not in the safe confines of the garage area.
But WWASCAR is totally setting a bad precedent here.
(Yes, WWASCAR is the World Wrestling Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Racing and fights, book it Triple H!)
Denny Hamlin tried to instigate a fight with anyone and everyone he could lay his hands on.
Meanwhile, KENSETH JUMPED A DUDE! That my friends is what the late, great Gorilla Monsoon would coin “a Pearl Harbor”.
This same incident in real life would bring felony charges and years in jail. Even if slightly exaggerated, the notion that physical violence is now A-OK in NASCAR’s rulebook is unjustifiable.
And I am calling out the troll fans who did an about face over this past weekend. 5 years ago, those dickhats were clamoring for fights and tension in the garage. Now this same stuff comes to fruition and instead want these drivers suspended. Hey, hello, GROW THE HELL UP!
So now we get back to Talladega.
Despite all the hype surrounding this, I am holding station of my expectations. There have been some really crappy races the last few years with some shining examples floating somewhere on the abandoned air force base.
For right now though, just let this theme slam right through your head, and keep on pack racing everybody!
